Emotions tend to run wild and I feel like I'm searching for some form of expression to express to you how I feel but at the same time wondering if it really necessary to have to try so hard.
My heart has learned to protect itself from those who show their best intentions but in the end only cause harm and more pain than joy. I have no regrets and have fond memories but my heart never forgets the pain but gracefully forgives it and adds a new armor to protect itself from what the next one may have up his sleeve. Granted as you say its not fair to the next one but who said life was fair and pain was so easily forgiving to the next who should pass.
I am a complex person with many faces and feelings. At times yes I may seem cold but if you take the time and let me warm up and need you to be there I am hotter than concrete in NYC during a heat wave.
I don't want at any point to be in love with the idea of being in love. I want to be in love for real. I want to be at the point where I need your presence and if I can't have that, I want to need your friendship like my next breath. Some to me needs to be better than none. I want to know that even if we can never be together, that any other will have to understand that you will be my friend forever. I want our love to be able to withstand the test of time. I want to be your best friend, your heart, your life.
But at the same time I want to be myself and for you to love me for me. To want me for me. To need me because of the person I am. I need you to want me to be independent and strong so that I can bring something to the table.
I want to be needed and loved because you need me......
The Me that I want to be.
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